Why woot is amazing

Hilarious.. read all the way through.. this is what makes woot so fantastic:

Thermor BIOS Home Weather Station

Thermor BIOS Home Weather Station

$29.99

  • + $5 shipping
Condition:
New
Product:
1 Thermor BW970 BIOS Home Weather Station
I Want One!

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My in-laws, I love ‘em…

...but they sure are kooky sometimes

Let me just give you three examples. One, they’re always convinced the apocalypse is imminent. The Y2K thing freaked them out of their skulls. When it didn’t precipitate the total collapse of civilization, do you think they felt embarrassed about it? Do you suppose it inspired them to re-evaluate their thoughts on the whole End Times thing? No way. They were just like “oh, well, guess we should get at all those preserves.” By 6/6/06, they were ready to panic again. Anyway, their new and revised deadline for armageddon is 2012, though they’re certain it could happen whenever.

Two, they’re obsessed with the weather. Whenever they call, they ask “what’s the weather like there? Did you get a lot of rain? We got a lot of rain here. They say it’s supposed to cool down over the weekend.” Honestly, I don’t care that much about the weather from moment to moment. Sometime in the fall, I get out my sweaters. In the summer, I put them away. When it rains, I don’t cut the lawn. There’s not a lot more to it than that.

But we got one of those Thermor home weather stations anyway, mostly just as a conversation piece for when the wife’s folks come to stay. It keeps track of a bunch of different data, and I can put the the indoor receiver part on a tabletop, or hang it on the wall, wherever it’s easiest to see. It displays a dozen key weather conditions, so we always have something besides THE END OF THE WORLD to talk about.

Finally, they smell intensely like prunes. I don’t know if that’s pheromonal, or just the preserves. But it’s weird.

Anyway, last time they visited, we were up late, and I was getting kind of fed up with all the meteorological small talk, so I took a kettle of piping hot water out to the garage where I keep the leaf blower and took the kettle and the blower out into the yard where the transmitter from our weather station is. I dumped it the hot water over the temperature sensor and into the rain gauge and blasted the leaf blower at the windspeed instrument and started screaming “CASCADES OF BOILING BLOOD FROM THE SKIES! LUCIFER STORMING THE GATES OF THE KINGDOM! IT’S THE END OF EVERYTHING!”

Oh, man, you should have seen them! I had a perfect view through the sliding glass door. I laughed so hard. It was awesome.

And that’s basically how I came to be in this acrimonious divorce proceeding, right there.

Warranty: 1 Year Bios Weather

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