Comcast Rebrands as the Necromongers, I mean Xfinity

I once watched a truly bad movie, the Chronicles of Riddick. The story took the awesome Vin Diesel character (and essentially only person left alive) from Pitch Black and put him in a story that centered around Necromongers from the Underverse. Seriously.

Comcast is trying to compete with that level of idiotic naming. They are going to rebrand themselves Xfinity. Obviously they did not get the memo about the 90's ending,

I assume that they are going to then make the Nissan Xterra the only vehicle that company employees are allowed to drive:

They will only be allowed to go skiing on Salomon x-screams:

The movie eXtreme ops (which is truly truly terrible) will be played at every board meeting:

After which, they will then be fored to watch the X-Files from start to finish. Including BOTH movies.

The only shoes employees will be allowed to wear are X-trails, they will be forced to participate in eXtreme sports such as skyboarding (remember that one?) and inline skating (so damn eXtreme). They will only be able to buy gas from Exxon (ok... maybe not..), and have to spend every damn minute of free time gaming on their X-Box.

What do all of these have in common? First, they are all annoying (often annoyingly yellow - a color I assosciate with early 2000's X-treme) Second they are all no longer for sale, or at least were in their heyday back around 2002 (XBOX 360 not withstanding). When calling things X-something was, you know, cool. Kinda. If you thought that being xtreme involved driving on a dirt road, hiking the waterfall path that attracts a thousand people a day, and skiing blue runs slightly faster than you thing is safe!

Amazingly, the only X that has lived through and past all of this Xtreme stupidity is the X-Games, which are really what started the whole trend in the first place. Coming late to the party (after-party? drunken wreck of a hotel room the morning after the party?) Comcast is not going to fare so well.

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