Huzzah! iPhone OS Allows multitasking!
NEWS FLASH: BREAKING, from Stuckupourasstino.
Reporting by Rudolph McHipster.
Today Apple announced the third revolution in as many weeks. The first as you all know was the release of the iPad, a device which will revolutionize computing. With the processing power of a 15yr old desktop, and the screen resolution more commonly found on smartphones, the maxiPad showed the world the future. From personal experience I can say it has completely changed the way computing will operate, and how you will live your day to day life. Since waiting in line for ours to get one on Saturday morning I have spent the last five days gesturing, rubbing and licking my iPad. Mostly licking.
The second revolution came when Steve Jobs announced he would be competing in the UFC. Granted, he is smaller, older, weaker, slower, and less technically proficient than any other competitor, but due to the blind cult like following of most of the media, he is expected to take the competition by storm. Prices for tickets to his bouts are expected to be 2-3x higher than average, but will come with a free shiny object. Mmmm shiny....
The third revolution will forever change the face of computing as we know it and will likely lead to a new world order dominated by shiny (mmmm shiny) and lickable (mmm tasty) Apple products. In a step completely unprecedented in its enormity, except for the fact that iPhone/Pad OS is the last operating system anyone can think of which does not have the feature, the iPhone will now allow very limited multitasking of certain tasks. With Apple's brave step into the future, multitasking is set to become the primary way you interact with your machine. The possibilities are nearly endless, limited only by the ingenuity of those app programmers to make you pay for things that are completely free on windows or linux netbooks, android, Palm webOS, or any laptop computer ever made. And the fact that only certain processes will be allowed to run in the background, as decided by Apple (as they are better than us). Imagine the possibilities of listening to your MP3 collection (well, actually your DRMed MP4 collection) at the same time as browsing the web! Revolutionary! You can even go on to iTunes to buy an overpriced song at the same time as you are listening to their music on Pandora! I for one, have never experienced such things. Well, not counting the last 10 years or so of using a laptop. Or an android phone. Or a webOS phone. Or even a Windows Mobile phone. But that is not important. What is important here is the revolutionary revoutionarity of the revolution Apple is bringing in a revolutionary way to revolutionize the revolution of a revolutionary age.
The only question that remains is how accurate I can be licking my iPad to surf the web. I will report more on that next week.
-Rudolph McHipster.
Reporting by Rudolph McHipster.
Today Apple announced the third revolution in as many weeks. The first as you all know was the release of the iPad, a device which will revolutionize computing. With the processing power of a 15yr old desktop, and the screen resolution more commonly found on smartphones, the maxiPad showed the world the future. From personal experience I can say it has completely changed the way computing will operate, and how you will live your day to day life. Since waiting in line for ours to get one on Saturday morning I have spent the last five days gesturing, rubbing and licking my iPad. Mostly licking.
The second revolution came when Steve Jobs announced he would be competing in the UFC. Granted, he is smaller, older, weaker, slower, and less technically proficient than any other competitor, but due to the blind cult like following of most of the media, he is expected to take the competition by storm. Prices for tickets to his bouts are expected to be 2-3x higher than average, but will come with a free shiny object. Mmmm shiny....
The third revolution will forever change the face of computing as we know it and will likely lead to a new world order dominated by shiny (mmmm shiny) and lickable (mmm tasty) Apple products. In a step completely unprecedented in its enormity, except for the fact that iPhone/Pad OS is the last operating system anyone can think of which does not have the feature, the iPhone will now allow very limited multitasking of certain tasks. With Apple's brave step into the future, multitasking is set to become the primary way you interact with your machine. The possibilities are nearly endless, limited only by the ingenuity of those app programmers to make you pay for things that are completely free on windows or linux netbooks, android, Palm webOS, or any laptop computer ever made. And the fact that only certain processes will be allowed to run in the background, as decided by Apple (as they are better than us). Imagine the possibilities of listening to your MP3 collection (well, actually your DRMed MP4 collection) at the same time as browsing the web! Revolutionary! You can even go on to iTunes to buy an overpriced song at the same time as you are listening to their music on Pandora! I for one, have never experienced such things. Well, not counting the last 10 years or so of using a laptop. Or an android phone. Or a webOS phone. Or even a Windows Mobile phone. But that is not important. What is important here is the revolutionary revoutionarity of the revolution Apple is bringing in a revolutionary way to revolutionize the revolution of a revolutionary age.
The only question that remains is how accurate I can be licking my iPad to surf the web. I will report more on that next week.
-Rudolph McHipster.
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