Scientists Find God's Toe
"I would not say that this announcement is the equivalent of seeing the face of God, but it might turn out to be the toe of God."
What the hell are scientists doing poking around the toes of the almighty? I think there might be some Olympian podophilia going on here.
But really, it's scientists making a bit of a joke. "God" refers to the principle that something created the universe. And in this case, the principle that since we are all here, something in the Standard Model has to be wrong. Because according to the Standard Model's Book of The Start of Things:
First God made matter & antimatter. 2 The universe was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was writing up complex equations to keep things in balance and stop it all going wrong like it did the last time, ugly business that. 3 And God said, "Let there be light"; and, after he fumbled for the particle smasher for a while, cursed the old universe stove, and wondered whether Jesus had been screwing around with things again, there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness, because if something didn't keep them apart they would just blow each other up and He would have to start all over again, which frankly is an Almighty pain in the ass.
So there you have it. Genesis according to the standard model. I do find it kind of ironically amusing that the standard model and genesis actually do share a fair bit - specifically the light/darkness matter/antimatter bit. Because the thing is, according to the standard model (our current understanding of the universe) matter and antimatter should be perfectly balanced and should have wiped each other out right after the big bang.
The one inconvenient piece of evidence that this did not happen is... well.. us. And everything around us. It simply should not be here. But it, more or less undeniably, is. So something stopped matter and anti-matter from pulling the buddy system of Armageddon.
Experiments at Tevatron, now the world's second largest atom smasher, now show how we might all happen to exist.
Basically, they showed that when you smash everything up and make yourself a little mini-universe, put on your best white robe and beard and walk around talking to yourself in the third person, that of its own accord about 1% more matter is created than anti-matter. This is due tothe benevolence of God the fact that certain sub-atomic particles are just happier being matter than anti-matter.
The Church has come out an speculated that this is only due to the fact that God liberally sprinkled the universe with Prozac, which is proven by a footnote in Luke 152:15 subsection F.
To me, this is again one of those times when omnivorous religion is pushed back a little further. Good religion - the kind that does not involve itself in science or calling for people to be killed and books to be burned - does not give a shit, because long ago they decided that the whole science thing should, shockingly, be left to science. Crazy idea that.
What the hell are scientists doing poking around the toes of the almighty? I think there might be some Olympian podophilia going on here.
But really, it's scientists making a bit of a joke. "God" refers to the principle that something created the universe. And in this case, the principle that since we are all here, something in the Standard Model has to be wrong. Because according to the Standard Model's Book of The Start of Things:
First God made matter & antimatter. 2 The universe was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was writing up complex equations to keep things in balance and stop it all going wrong like it did the last time, ugly business that. 3 And God said, "Let there be light"; and, after he fumbled for the particle smasher for a while, cursed the old universe stove, and wondered whether Jesus had been screwing around with things again, there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness, because if something didn't keep them apart they would just blow each other up and He would have to start all over again, which frankly is an Almighty pain in the ass.
So there you have it. Genesis according to the standard model. I do find it kind of ironically amusing that the standard model and genesis actually do share a fair bit - specifically the light/darkness matter/antimatter bit. Because the thing is, according to the standard model (our current understanding of the universe) matter and antimatter should be perfectly balanced and should have wiped each other out right after the big bang.
The one inconvenient piece of evidence that this did not happen is... well.. us. And everything around us. It simply should not be here. But it, more or less undeniably, is. So something stopped matter and anti-matter from pulling the buddy system of Armageddon.
Experiments at Tevatron, now the world's second largest atom smasher, now show how we might all happen to exist.
Basically, they showed that when you smash everything up and make yourself a little mini-universe, put on your best white robe and beard and walk around talking to yourself in the third person, that of its own accord about 1% more matter is created than anti-matter. This is due to
The Church has come out an speculated that this is only due to the fact that God liberally sprinkled the universe with Prozac, which is proven by a footnote in Luke 152:15 subsection F.
To me, this is again one of those times when omnivorous religion is pushed back a little further. Good religion - the kind that does not involve itself in science or calling for people to be killed and books to be burned - does not give a shit, because long ago they decided that the whole science thing should, shockingly, be left to science. Crazy idea that.
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