Best of Craigslist

Some selections from craigslist:

Totally AWESOME Kimball Organ

Date: 2010-02-23, 5:49PM MST

Dude, this thing is sick. You need this organ.
Find out why this does not turn on and then you will be ready to rock out, or play some hymns at your local church!
Make an offer, any offer! Any trades considered!
Would love to trade for a cute puppy like this:

Check out this video of what you could be doing in just a few short weeks of practice:

Here is a picture of the glorious beast.

There is a good chance that it stopped working because we brought it out in the snow to play while we snowboarded in our front yard..

Come get it before this weekend and I'll throw in a free high five! Yeah dude!

You aren't looking for them, but I found your two dogs.

Date: 2010-02-18, 4:42PM EST

Sigh. No one is looking for these guys. And I see why. They hump everything in sight, try to dominate our old doggies, try to eat our cats and pee on everything and bark at everything. Neurotic, lick constantly. They know no commands, either in English or Spanish. They are aggressive and probably lived in a puppy mill. You dumped them, probably, and we picked them up before they were killed by traffic. Unneutered, no tags, under 1 year old small males. I hate you, person who dumped these dogs. There are no lost ads on phone poles, no lost ad on Craig's list, no lost ad in the paper. We put signs up all over, put a found notice in at the local pounds and if you were looking for these filthy little ragamuffins, you would have found them. We are afraid to take them to the pound because under stress, your dogs were snappy and horribly afraid and dogs are judged by temperament for adoption placement. They would not have passed that test. However.....

They are, under their filth, mats and horrible habits, adorable. They have learned "Quiet," "Come," "Sit." They have stopped being so neurotic and we have broken most of their bad habits in just a few days. They are smart and sweet and are looking for guidance and WANT to be good little dogs. One is a purebred little white and buff guy with an under bite, the other is a brown little dog that looks almost exactly like a miniature version of a larger breed dog. They know each other and were obviously (by the same bad habits) raised (poorly) together. We will get them neutered, train them and get them into a good, loving home with people who use the brains God gave them.

If these are your dogs, come on by, I'd like to kick your ass.

  • Location: Atlanta
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Large Boat for sale

Date: 2010-02-16, 1:17PM CST

Due to the bad economy, I can no longer afford to fill up the diesel tanks on this thing and pay my crew. Therefore, I am forced to sell my 1977 Nimitz-class aircraft carrier. New paint and propellors. 22 knots max. Looking for around $2,000,000 or best offer. No pirates or scammers.

  • Location: North Atlantic
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

new york > WE NEED A SMART PERSON Originally Posted: Thu, 11 Feb 13:10 EST


Date: 2010-02-11, 1:10PM EST

We need a smart or more person to help un with our Company.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1596308401

LOST: Tripod in a sewer

Date: 2010-02-08, 9:00PM EST

Last night, I dropped my tripod in a fast flowing sewer, and it got carried away into the shitty abyss. If you're an Ashbridges Bay sewage treatment plant worker, and you find a black Manfrotto 752B ball head tripod, it's mine, and I miss it.

Thanks for your time.

  • Location: East Toronto
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1592354224

st louis > Amazing Deal Originally Posted: Sun, 7 Feb 06:14 CST

Amazing Deal

Date: 2010-02-07, 6:14AM CST

a couple of used kitchen appliances and some tables and chairs along with the rights to rent space in a strip mall for sale....

I am calling it a restaurant since that is what I tried to do, but it could be a great place to turn lead into GOLD !!!... Or possibly make MILLIONS of dollars overnight shining shoes... all for a wee $65,000...... Yeah you could just buy an oven, fridge, and gas grill, with an exhaust hood, and some tables and chairs at auction for less that $15,000...... But, that wouldn't be a profit to me now would it.... Or maybe I dumped a couple hundred grand in the place buying new and paying for contractors to do all the work for me... I can't remember... and I never would tell the truth anyway... I am claiming to sell for health reasons and I will tell you I plan to retire in Florida or some BS that makes you think I made a ton of money here...

All items are located deep in the ghetto where no one has any money and crime is high just in front of the parking lot with all the pot holes. That spot famous for being the place the gangs and drug dealers like to hang out and shoot each other.... Plenty of customers like to come in and haggle for a cheaper price than my listed menu prices and at least 500 methheads live close by in the alley, so plenty of foot traffic close by... and every hour someone will call up saying there was hair in their food and they demand 5 times the amount of food they paid for to make them feel better... But, you can be your own boss !!! So isn't it worth overpaying for my used appliances to save you a day or two of running around ?....There is no electricity or gas on to prove any of the equipment works, but you are the trusting type....

all of the tables have sayings like T-Bone was here... and the local High School rules... and Freddy stinks... but there is also phone numbers for easy girls who put out and funny looking charactures engraved in the table tops... and plenty of graffiti on the wall outside adding character to the building..

According to the Health Dept, the dumpster out back needs to be fenced in but the landlord won't bother since the methheads tear the fencing down to turn in for scrap.. The fence just gets in the way of the bums throwing trash all over anyway... , so every time the health department inspects the place you lose 30 points right off the bat... but 70 is still passing if everything else passes with flying colors.. just don't get a single point taken off inside and you'll be ok...

anywho...I know you working class slobs are desperate to do anything but get an education or research the cost yourselves... You will just waste that SBA loan or inheritence on something like this, so I have one for sale... At least I will have if you reply to this ad and prove you have the money.... which I will need to see before I show you the place

This is a real money pit... you can't go wrong.... and besides... why stay employed without much responsibility and kiss your employer's butt when you can kiss all of St Louis's lower class butt as a restaurant owner.... Where every customer is like your boss at work ... Only these people are even more difficult to deal with because they seriously want and expect free food and drinks every day and every hour you are open.... and they lack confidence since they are poor and want you to try REAL hard to respect them... It shouldn't matter that they have criminal records, no money, and are ugly to the eye.. They have to be super-respected due to a insecurity of ego...

Yep, nothing like being your own boss..... putting everything you worked for your whole life on the line even though you have absolutely no experience running a restaurant other than that fast food joint back in high school and that waiting tables job in college... After all, you want to make hamburgers or pizza, and no one else in St Louis does that.... You can be the only one to offer such unique food items to the public... Or maybe you can do it better than those other restaurants who have been in business for 30 years or more by adding brussel sprouts or some other kind of goat food to a traditional food item... just remember taste doesn't mean anything as long as the food has either a catchy name or is considered healthy or whatever the latest fad is...

$12,000 worth of equipment and a lease you could sign yourself for $65,000..... you can't go wrong.... Of course none of the equipment is Viking... Just crap known to break down so the company who originally sold it can make money coming out to repair it once a month...

If interested, write a check for $65,000 cash and hand it to your worst enemy, then call it a learning experience... and save years on your life from worry about bills and time wasted chasing greener pastures..... You will save a ton of money in litigation costs by not defaulting on the lease too.....

I am the best deal in the world for an inexperienced yuppie with pipe dreams of leaving the office behind or some out of work loser who will never open a book and find out how to make money in this world... Yep.... Forget college and experience.... There is always a short cut.... Everyone knows this... and here is your chance...

You will have to sign away all of your rights to sue me when I put "As Is" on the purchase agreement... but you aren't paying attention to any of that since you will be all emotional about starting your own business and be caught up in your dream of being the next Macdonald's food chain... and besides any high school drop out can run a successful restaurant.. This was proven years ago by that one guy...

I might even be willing to owner finance if I get close to declaring bankruptcy... but I will wait till the last minute and screw myself trying to get a cash deal like I like to do.... So you know... Buy now... If you don't like this one, I am working this hustle at 5 other locations too.... I never run a restaurant for real... I just make it look like one has been run there... No one ever asks to see my books... I just put some equipment in a strip mall, rent out the space for $6000 a year and sell it for $65,000 each time... But you the buyer won't know any different, I promise.. !!

I can even put you in touch with the restaurant consultant who charges me $200 an hour to tell me what I could have looked up on the internet for free... he's a great guy.... he didn't get anywhere with his business of 15 years, but he did find a Rube just like you who had a million dollars to pay him for his trumped up books, used equipment, and leasehold like I am offering today... but I am only charging $65,000...... See how nice I am !!!

Anyway... I am going on.... I didn't put up any contact info because I don't need to screw over people to make money running scams like this for real... I actually can run a business successfully... So, you know... Best of luck and don't break a finger flagging me.... Karma has a way of getting ya like that...

Go Saints in the Super Bowl today... !!

  • Location: Ghetto
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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