FDA to Ban Caffiene, Alcohol

"Let these rulings serve as a warning to anyone who tried to peddle dangerous and toxic brews to our children. Do it and we will shut you down," Schumer, D (Dumbass) -New York, said in the statement.

"Young people have been dying after drinking this stuff. It's about time we're finally doing something about these dangerous drinks." said Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff

According to the FDA, drinking alcohol can lead to dying, or stupid actions that lead to dying. Also, drinking late, and heavily, while using caffeine to stay awake (or amped up) likely increases the chance of doing something stupid, which leads to dying, or a trip to the emergency room. Shockingly, when underage individuals illegally consume alcohol (and caffeine), bad things can result. Somehow, according to them, selling caffeine with alcohol means you are "peddling toxic brews to our children" - WTF?

Leading brands like Four Loko mix as much as three cups of coffee with three cans of beer.

The FDA is completely out of line on this one. Basically they are saying that somehow, mixing two completely legal and commonly available drinks is illegal. Caffeine and alcohol? The first "Highball" (whiskey and soda) was brought to this country in 1894 (by a Brit I might add). And what has it done? It's been goddamn delicious for the last 116 years.

The FDA has now decided that caffeine with alcohol is dangerous, because of a bunch of hyped up events around the country where college students got drunk and died/almost died. That is goddamn idiotic. College kids making bad decisions when it comes to drinking? No shit. Its because of this country's puritanical approach to drinking at home/before you go to college that college kids have no freaking idea how to handle alcohol when they are off at college.

There is no causal relationship between these drinks and events, just a political reaction to something which should not be politicized (the FDA). I goddamn hate this administration (and yes - it does come back to them and their belief that the masses are a bunch of idiots who can't take care of themselves, or make intelligent decisions).


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