UK Unions Protest Solvency

English unions are up in arms over the fact that England is not yet bankrupt.

"We almost achieved it back in the 70's, but it looks like our time has finally come. This time, we won't stop until the currency is in free fall, lending rates skyrocket and England achieves what we have always wanted: perfect equality in poverty" said one union leader.

Other union leaders spoke about the need to "ignore tomorrow, and milk what we can from the system today."

Hundreds of thousands are now on strike, protesting the fact that though the government has avoided layoffs and pays very well, a percentage of their pension is now at risk. Comments from the private sector, where hundreds of thousands lost their jobs because of the stupidity of government include "fuck you you fucking lazy assholes" and "get back to work you money grubbing sods." This reporter of course can only report what has been said, but the comments have been shocking.

Among those now on strike are the National Teachers Union, whose motto is "Laziness and pensions above all, kids can teach themselves," the Assosciation of Teachers and Lecturers: "We works hards for whats wheez gets" and the University and College Union whose motto is "Tenure is the shit."

Also on strike are 90% all of the workers who handle phone calls for the metropolitan police. So if you die of a heart attack today in London, rest easy knowing that it was to protect the pension of some lazy asshole.