Fly Safe: Airport Security Fails to Detect 95% of Fake Explosives, Weapons

In a shocking twist, it turns out taking away people's nail clippers and water bottles does not make flying safer. 

Seriously, I always though the TSA were a crack squad keeping me safe in the skies. I never listened to those naysayers who said "it's just to make it look like we're doing something." I refused to believe it "No!" I said "my shoes clearly are potential life threatening devices which need to be thoroughly scanned by that guy who looks at 8,356 images an hour and is really paying attention right now." I happily took my laptop out of my bag but left my equally large tablet in, stood in the full body scanner and got shot with harmful radiation, submitted to deep cavity body searches because it MEANT SOMETHING.

Now, they've taken all that away from me. Now, when the overweight TSA lady tells me my nail clippers are too large I will no longer feel safe on the plane. When my bag gets pulled aside because I have too many wires and I forgot to put my favorite ticking wind up alarm clock or katana collection in my checked luggage, I won't feel the warm embrace of airborne security.

No, now I'm just going to be fucking annoyed every time one of those idiots holds up the lines to incompetently search an 85 year old WWII vet for a jar of German jam he was bringing home for his wife (saw it happen). Every time that I'm put through the full body scanner, every time my bag gets pulled aside, every time I take my shoes off, every time I have to wait because my laptop apparently looks like Osama created the blueprint...

I support security. Clearly, what we have now is not security. It's incompetence. At a high cost. I neither want to pay the idiots wages nor submit to their ridiculous rules.

The US can do better than this.

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